Giving Thanks!

I have not forgotten to give thanks today.

I have remembered, in the storms that have come our way the last few days that no matter what, we are blessed.

I give thanks to those who are so far from home; fighting for the freedoms we have here. I pray for them and their families daily.

I am thankful for the family we have near and far. Praying for those who are with us and those who cannot be here to enjoy the festivities.

I am thankful for my little ones as loud as they are. The joyful squeals of the children; a reminder of the simplicity of life. They show us the beauty and freedom we can all enjoy. A child’s innocence. Let us be as a child…

I am grateful for those friends, Brothers and Sisters in Christ who are with me. Walking in truth and liberty – sharing with one another revelations and love. May we all continue to walk in His steps.

I thank God for grace. For love and truth and the beauty of His word. Its amazing grace. It is an amazing life we live. A day to worship and praise Him. IN all things.

1 Chronicles 29:10-13 (KJV)
Wherefore David blessed the LORD before all the congregation: and David said, Blessed be thou, LORD God of Israel our father, for ever and ever.
Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all.
Both riches and honour come of thee, and thou reignest over all; and in thine hand is power and might; and in thine hand it is to make great, and to give strength unto all.
Now therefore, our God, we thank thee, and praise thy glorious name.

From the sweet potatoes to the chill outside; the frost on our windows and the fire that will soon be blazing out back. Let us glorify His name. Let us be joyful in our thanks giving. Never failing to remember and show all the earth what the Lord has done.

I thank God for knowing whose I am. For being caled. For being chosen. I thank Him for who HE is – a wonderful, merciful, righteous, holy, forgiving, all knowing, all  seeing, ever present Lord and Saviour Today I count the blessings that I have, those that HE has placed in my life. From the breath in my body to the strength of my bones; the beating of my heart. I think Jesus today and every day for ea h step I take; each hug and kiss received from my children. We are blessed in so many ways. Let us seek them all and Praise Him as we count each one.

Be blessed!

Devoted

The holidays seem to be upon us. Where has the year gone? How does the time pass so quickly? Every year it seems this time comes in a rush, for me, unexpected and sudden. We move from our peaceful and relaxed days, to a bit more hurried and purposeful of time. It becomes harder to hang on to my time with my Lord – prayer, studies…they seem harder to have each year.

I remind myself often that my little ones are not so little; that one day I will have all the quiet time I long for, me and my Bible. In the meantime I need to enjoy my time with them; hang onto that joy and share God’s word as much as I can that they heart and mind may grow more and more in love with Him each day.

We use devotionals. I never use them as a stand alone; some days it feels they are though. So I was thrilled to be able to read Awakening Faith. I love the early church fathers; such wisdom and depth in their words. So much of the power and truth that is so lacking today. I also enjoy the history that is woven into their words. And this devotional is no different. It reminds me of the power of His word; it helps to strengthen me on those days when I am so very weary. I have learned and continue to learn much of the early church. Many names never before heard – there is a handy appendix full of details about the various church fathers; a list of scriptures indexed within too. Often I find devotionals to be soft and fluffy but this one is a gem. In fact this is one you keep close and read again and again gleaning much each time.

Right now those days come often. Much to do. Preparing for family and friends. Baking and gathering; crafting. This is a season full of busyness. Let us not lose our faith and our Lord though in this time.

“History instructs us, the law teaches us, prophecy foretells, rebukes condemn us, wisdom persuades us, but the book of Psalms goes further than all of these. It is medicine for our spiritual health. When we read it, we find a medicine to cure the wounds caused by any of our passions. Whoever studies it deeply will find it to be like a gymnasium for their soul, where the different psalms are like different exercises set out before them. In that gymnasium, in that stadium of virtue, they can choose the exercises that will best train them to win the victor’s crown.” ~~Ambrose

The Old Schoolhouse for Review

We educate our children at home. We love it. Wouldn’t trade it for the world BUT we are imperfect – we are different. All four of us and that can make things hard. If I did not say that we (I) get frustrated and sometime want to call it quits, I would be telling a great lie. Yet there are great resources out there for us. Many free like The Old Schoolhouse magazine.

I must say upfront that I have been so very blessed by this one. The Old Schoolhouse Magazine always, and I mean always, provides me with inspiration and a renewed dedication to our home education. And as the children get older, as it goes from training one to training two, to training three, the challenges increase and the struggles too some days.  In case you do not know we currently have two sweet, very strong willed and very different boys ages 4 and 8.  While one is very independent and focuses well, my oldest has a stronger will but between his attention span (or lack of  many days) and his inability to sit still we must be extra creative in his learning. OF course I cannot forget our daughter who is 2 and adamant to be a part of all lessons. Thank God for being able to go to: http://www.theoldschoolhouse.com/.

Where do I start? I love that I can read their magazine online. I mean we have a small house and I am  determined to have my own library (my way of saying I have too many books and still more coming   haha).  I love to read and I love having a plethora of resources. Which is how I feel about The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. I love being able to read it online; download and print anything I really want to keep. It’s a real space saver. Check it out for yourself, right here: www.TOSMagazine.com.   And if you are on the go? Busy with your co-ops, dance lessons or karate. Whatever and wherever you go, take this one with you. Free app too: http://www.TOSApps.com. Definitely a win-win right?

Let me tell you have much this current issue of their magazine has helped me. I have a four year old who is struggling to learn how to read. We are plum out of ideas; he wants to learn but so far its not working. Momma is getting frustrated herself. Schoolhouse Magazine? Page 144 says “8 Reading Strategies that Work”. I am refreshed with a couple new things to try. Don’t give up. Simple words but so very powerful. Then on page 30 there is “Reading Makes Me Happy Now”, for my 8 year old son who doesn’t quite understand why mom reads so much and dreads that time of day. “Reading is as essential as air water and shelter. The love of reading sends our children out into the world with tools to continue learning…” This is such a wonderful truth. A classic and valuable piece of information and a reminder to some of us when, in the trenches, we consider “letting it go” just a bit. For a time or two maybe. Let us continue to seek opportunities to build and grow a love of reading within each child.  For my little one, a beautiful piece “Creating Holiday Fun with the Littlest Ones” because frankly, its hard right? So much to do sometimes we forget to enjoy. To relax and soak in the beauty of the season; the precious moments as they come.  Great ideas for handmade note cards (I need ideas because frankly crafty and I .. we are not close friends….haha).  There is a recipe for trail mix – a healthy and yet sweet treat for those little ones; easy to grab a handful at home or on the go.  The article even suggests gifting it; a nice little package that comes with a key. Its cute: cranberries for love; dried apple for health; nuts for, well nuts .. I love it. Really I do 🙂

Its great. And the magazine? It’s free.  Truly. Although it may cost us because there are so many amazing products reviewed so thoroughly. I guess we know we are getting when we buy something reviewed by “The Crew”: http://schoolhousereviewcrew.com/.  We have been introduced to many truly amazing things, See the Light, Christian art DVD’s. My son has one and has had a wonderful time learning how to make Joseph and his coat of many colors. They are not all Bible based either (those are our favorites) but we have learned different art techniques along the way. All thanks to the Review Crew. And I don’t know where we would be if it were not for the Writing Strands that we read about and currently use. What a fun way to learn and write for my  oldest who is always creating something new. He has a couple books “in the works” thanks to this program and maybe one day he shall be a little author too.

Truthfully – there is so much out there for all of us and there are so many who just don’t know where to turn and what to use.  Really even the Old Schoolhouse Magazine has more advertisements than I would like in a publication. However they also have a crew that uses these with their children and provides honest answers. Why and how it works, or doesn’t for them. And I have to say that has saved me a ton of money in the  3 years we have been “officially” educating our children at home. I admit too, it has ended up costing us more than we plan at times too. I mean now and then there is a review for  something (okay we don’t need it…its not a part of the plan) so amazing I have to get it. I have to find a place for it. And I do.

 

Home education has many different styles. I don’t think there are two homes that look the same. We manage things differently. That is what is so neat about it. We need one another. We need the resources and the tools to make it a success. It doesn’t have to be perfect. We are not perfect. And neither are our children. Let us remember to breathe in; to trust in Him; to  never let go but to always keep our eyes on the Kingdom. We do this with His blessing (at least in  our home)  This is kingdom work not for the faint of  heart. We need the faith and we need the right tools. if we do it for Him all things shall come together. There will be good days and bad days; some thing will work and some won’t. But let us remember in our journey to reach out to those we meet along the way.

Blessings!

What about Jerusalem?

If you watch the news its always there. The Gaza Strip, Jerusalem .. the Middle East – its a story in itself. one that many of us, i think, do not truly and completely understand. its a rich and dangerous history; full of prophecy that is currently being fulfilled and much that is still to come.

As a Bible believer I am all too aware of the value of Israel; we are told often in scripture in fact, to watch and be ready. It is sad that this little spot of land, such a small country, is an important time piece in the End Days.

I was given the chance to read Dateline Jerusalem; Chris Mitchell, a reporter for CBN stationed in Jerusalem does quite a good job pulling together various details for us in this book. He shares history, as well as what we see and read in the news each day. While at times I found the reading a bit dry and hard to follow, it was not due to a lack of information. Sometimes I think there was almost too much; overwhelming at points.

As one who very much enjoys studying the End Times, I was hopeful I would see more scripture; that he would tie things together a bit more than was done in the pages of this book. I do commend him though for all that is within this one.

“We live in a world where we cannotafford to be ill informed. What happens in the strategic Middle East, Israel,and Jerusalem is critical. It matters to you. Today’s news might focus on Washington, New York, London, or Moscow, but history’s final chapter will be written in Jerusalem.”

No Pity to me….

I was up most of the night; into early mornig.

Pondering. Praying.

I think maybe it was a bit of a pity party for me. Mixed with truth. I don’t know. Feeling sad and a bit torn and worn and beat up as of late. Sitting up reading old journals; poetry written long ago. Poems that are full of pain and anguish and love and sorrow .. that bleed…who I used to be…. who I am meeting who I was…..

There’s something to be said when present or future me, meets the me of the past. I have spent the last few days dealing with feelings of loneliness…..feeling empty; struggling to hold onto that mustard seed of faith … family and friends being brought to Him – shown this glorious truth and yet … its like a yo-yo – back and forth and up and down and left to right…no sign of staying in one place. Its trying to catch the rabbit who keeps going down the rabbit hole.

Square peg in a round hole. Starting to believe am that bull in the china shop too. I just cannot get words out …. I cannot get to that place of soft and gentle. Its frustrating watching people who know better spin their wheels. Have to remember I cannot let it be about me. Because it isn’t about me. Time is of the essence…..His time. He is always on time. Must remember that. There is a reason.

Lord give me eyes…..Seems I am feeling more bitter; more hurt and having less patience. Perhaps it is the pressure of holidays upon me; maybe the many folks I have sitting in Bible studies…I never discount spiritual warfare being in my life….I am wary to give the devil more credit than he deserves at least….I need a renewal. I need strength to rise up and fight again and again …

I remember the ending….must not forget how it ends..His word confirms what I forget. We win. No matter how my days go in the end of all ends we have the victory.

Outside and In

Ever feel like you are outside? When you’re inside?

Been feeling that way a lot lately…..Wondering what I am doing…the purpose behind these days where it all feels wrong; it all goes amiss and no matter what or where I am, I am that square peg being shoved into the round hole.

I admit it. Most of my life I have been an outsider. Its never bothered me much. In fact most of my time I am working; studying whatever has caught my interest most recently….Learning to sew or trying new recipes; learning a language or just reading and enjoying some coffee or tea. Yeah i don’t get out much. haha

I could share my laundry list of complaints about all those things that bother me; what I love and what I hate….but what does that matter really? Its a moot point. For whatever reason very few ever really “get” me. Before being married and with children this made adventure and travel simple. Now its a bit more complicated.

Its not like we haven’t been in the same place for a couple years. We have roots per se. Yet even seeing the same people in our neighborhood; faces in church each week ….Its amazing how I can feel as though I am outside of it all. Watching the joy and the beauty – seeing pain and sorrow – struggles being had and comfort given and received. Yet I am outside of it all. At no time do I feel I have the right or the place to partake in any of this. I am not really inside. Its not home. Not for me.

We live on the same street; worship in the same building three times a week – You are a stranger to me, as I am to you. There is no connection; no bond. You get lost in the crowd; you hang back against the wall. There but not there. Its nothing personal. Some people take this personally; some say its all in my head. I must rebuke the devil and cast out these evil thoughts for in His Kingdom we all belong together. Let’s not give the devil too much credit really .. .

It is me. Its always been me . No matter how or where I am I am outside. Maybe I dance about on the outskirts or come in to test it out but I always go back outside. Nothing personal. Really. We all have those quirks – mine is wanting to be real – which makes me alone a lot. Reality bites right? Its hard for a l lot of people to chew. Heck its hard for me to chew some days.

I am moody; I am loud and I am quiet; I speak my mind when spoken to but I prefer not to pretend or dilly dally in any of that small talk. I am honest – to a fault – sometimes I have a real mean streak to (especially if you mess with my kids) but I try. Every day no matter how worn; no matter how tired and ready to give up I am, I get up, brush myself off and remind myself that I have Jesus on my side. Even on those days when I don’t believe even He can stand me. 😛

I love Jesus and I hang on tight to Him because lately I feel like He is all that I have. My saving grace.

Reminded of a poem I wrote so many years ago when I was inside and out.

What are You Building?

Psalm 12:1 Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wonder sometimes…..what am I building? Lately I feel as though I am spending more time tearing things down than anything else.

I struggle with our oldest son. Every day. Nothing works. I have read and prayed and prayed and read. Sought counsel from my husband. No good has come from any thing so far.. I am tired; worn out. And starting to dread my once fun loving, eager to learn, little man. I know not when he went from eager and excited to bored and full of angst. It saddens me. There is such a heart within him. And yet I fear those early years of his life, when I should have been home with him, instead he went to daycare each day. It was a lovely Christian woman’s home daycare but still…It makes a difference.

I feel tired; drained. Just plain worn out. Feeling just plain old alone. Yet not alone. I know Jesus is there. He is always with me. I know this because in them midst of my feeling down and out; troubles with the in-laws, chaos with my oldest son; my sweet cousin, who is ever so troubled, finding out she is due with a darling babe in December….So much Lord…too much Lord….But then a sweet and dear friend, sent me a message which said:

“Expect the best always from GOD to you!! The Lord led me to tell you this that u are never forgotten! He continues to keep His eye upon you and His hand upon your shoulder each day of your journey. God loves you as if you were the only person on earth. You have captured the heart of God.!!”

Oh how I bawled! Oh how I prayed – feeling t he Spirit all about me; praying in tongues without ceasing….goosebumps all over…I thank the Lord that He knows just what we need and when we need to hear. He is good all the time. It reminded me too that there are so many, who know not, there are so many who heard and yet did not respond…Jesus loves us all and yet – there is still much to sow and much more to reap. The time to rest is not now. Let us pursue…and let us recover all that is ours, as His word stays. I claim it in Jesus name!

Are you Crispy ? I AM!

Freaking out! My kids have been freaking out since about 7:30am. Not in a bad way. They just wake up ready to rumble. haha

I have been up since a bit before 7am; early mornings just do not agree with me. But I know I need to get up as soon as I can to seek HIm; to read His word and pray….And yet too many mornings I just cannot. Like this morning. So much coming at me from the second I woke up. I am still looking at the same page in Genesis. ~sigh

Dogs that need to be taken out and fed. Kids that seem to know the second my eyes open and they come for me LOL And this past week it seems I have been more easily frustrated. I have been moodier, more sensitive to my needs and less to that of others. My 4 ear old son telling me to look and watch as he plays and builds … Its not cute right now. My daughter chasing about the house with her little vaccum; wanting “uppie” every moment I seem to have free……sigh And my oldest who is so strong willed; smart as a whip and determined to do his own thing….Add one hubby who just wants a chance to have some down time when he is home; work on some things of his own and watch some football…I am struggling to find the “haven” in the home right now.

I don’t know. I am tired. I am worn out. And I want to hide. From the kids and the husband and the dogs. The constant needs; they have me down and out. And I try to remember this is God’s calling for me. Its not about thinking I can do it; its about knowing that He created me for this. He created these little ones for me to train up. Yet in all the chaos – the “mmmy uppie” the “mommy I need….” its hard to see that light shining.

I admit it – I want perfection. Nice clean house; helpful involved husband; kids who listen and joyfully do. ***screeching brakes*** I hear them….its not real. Its pretty and its neat and tidy and…..not real. My imaginings have taken over. I forget that in the real world its not like that. Its messy. Its not pretty.

I ponder and consider my mess. My house that everyone messes and I clean (with little hands helping as they can of course) Forget those meals that need to be made; scarfed down with not a word of thanks or anything…dishes tossed in the sink or left on the table….meal clean up … the spills…the sticky goo that is found on couches and rockers…all for me. The children’s tears; needing a nap, a rest, just some snuggle time with momma … I am just starting to see.

God is there; He sees. He knows. No matter how worn I am; no matter how the day ends…He has never called me to do it all perfectly. He is so much bigger and greater than anything I can imagine. His plan far more awesome than mine. His idea of great much worthier of praise. When will I learn? Must let go of my ideals; my vision. I am out of focus – I am out of line. I am not being what He has called me to be.

Step back. Slow down. Count the blessings; even if it takes time to find them. The sweet drawing my oldest made for me; covered in goo from apple pie shared with family over the weekend. Hear the joyful noise of the children as they play together; creating their own stories and games. Together. Be still. Listen. Wait on Him.

Lord let me be a woman of God; strong in the faith; ordering my steps according to your plan and your word. Lord let me be patient ~ seeking out opportunities to be more like you; to show you and share you in my home and outside of it. Let my home be a haven for those within; for those in need.

Search me Lord ~ Cleanse me Lord ~ Refresh me and make me, again, new.