I Will Serve Thee

I am waiting. I recently learned that God has a waiting room.

Imagine that.

And I find myself waiting in it. Learning how to wait in it.

 

 

 

 

How tired we have become struggling to make ends meet. The project that are left on done or are unable to even begin.

Wait on the Lord and keep his way…

It is so much easier said than done sometimes. Especially when you feel like you’ve been waiting for so long.

 

I read this morning on how important it is for us to believe God for that new beginning. Believe God for those promises that He has for us.

 

We can … IF we really want to.
We must choose to believe that we have God’s in all our affairs.

In every situation we must choose to believe that He will make our way prosperous.

 

We can be healed; we can lead and be that salt and light we are called to be.

 

We will be victorious!

 

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Wordless Wednesday

 

 

😆🤣🤗😘

Living A “Better” Life

Yesterday was not one of our “Better” days. It started out okay but then – these mountains got in my way (molehills actually, now that I am looking back).

 

I know, or at least, I strive to really know, that:

 

For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

 

Why is it that lately, every time I see that mountain, I don’t act in faith, but in fear. It’s always related to my oldest son. What a struggle he can be. It’s been a tough year for him. As he becomes older he seems to pull away from us, more and more. Whereas we once would talk, amazing conversations, he hasn’t a word to say. Chores, academics – these are all more battles for me to fight. And I know that I have to fight for him, not against him. Just not sure how.

 

 

I am blessed that I have met some lovely mamas; home educators who have been there – who are there – there to walk with me and encourage me (and I them) in this difficult time.

 

Last night though – I lost my temper – on my oldest son – on my husband. There was no shortage of me letting them know what they should be doing and why they are to blame for my heart ache. If my husband did more with my son; was firmer and more sure. If he wasn’t so eager to settle in and just have a peaceful night.

 

If my oldest son would just listen. If h e could just obey the simple things I need him to do and not provoke his siblings at every turn. If only he could be kind to others, still his tongue – be the compassionate friend he so desperately wants and needs.

 

I let everyone have it.  It was kind of a pity party – instead of seeing the need for conversation, problem solving, relationship building – I saw them against me.

 

Now to be be honest and fair, there are definitely things that all of us need to do differently. We need to work together. There needs to be more time learning and growing with one another and less time just passing the time on television and video games. These things might not be bad but all things are better in moderation.

 

So after all things settled down and I was resting, I noticed that this evening of trial and tribulation (ha-ha) resulted in all four kiddos having built a fort in their bedroom and playing card games together. Nicely. No awful noises or words; no antagonizing behaviors towards one another. They were simply together; being being friends.

 

And this morning? We are watching some baking shows. Lots of great ideas for baking and decorating cakes and cookies and donuts.  A great way to encourage reading, math, creative design. Of course being able to enjoy a yummy treat in the end is a wonderful reward (my oldest has begun to enjoy baking and gifting his treats – that’s serving others!).

 

 

My younger son and older daughter spent a bit of today working on training our dogs to sit and heel; to stay and to jump up. Fun stuff. It’s so nice seeing the two of them working together; learning together.  A great way to encourage being helpful. And our dogs certainly appreciate all the treats and attention!

 

 

As for my oldest son? He is still rebellious and he still struggles with academics. But he has a good heart; he is forgiving and honest. He has so much potential – such great desire – I have to remember that he is not me. As he becomes a young man, so many lessons for me to learn about how I can be present and supportive to him while still being his momma.

 

Yesterday was not so great – it could always be worse – but today is going to be a better day. As we talked together about the mistakes we made and our plans to learn from these things, we all had to soften our hearts a bit. Forgiveness. Confession of our own wrongdoings.

 

As my oldest said, today is a blessing because its another day for us to strive to do right and be better than yesterday.

 

May we always seek to grow. Together. In heart and soul and mind, loving our Lord. ❤

How He Loves Us

The other day, out of nowhere, a very old and very dear friend was brought to mind.

It wasn’t a passing thought either. It was a heavy weight upon me. I was flooded with memories of long ago.

Being curious (maybe foolish even) I searched up this friend on Facebook. Sometimes it’s okay to stalk right? Lol

I was really hoping to find a joy filled of place; a family or something. Something other than hurt and pain and alone.

I think I prayed and cried most of the day. If I remembered how we were always there for each other. We didn’t have anyone else really.

And what a mess we both were back then. Lots of foolishness and awful choices. Yet no matter what we always knew that the other one was there for us.

We were never totally alone.

There is a connection there, kindred spirits perhaps (loving Anne of Green Gables with my girls).

In the midst of my feeling terrible that there was no way for me to reach out; fanfare is crying and feeling totally helpless and angry at myself, it occurred to me God loves my friend SO much.

When when we don’t know God we do not realize that we are never alone. God in his goodness use me to pray for whatever needs are there right now.

I am believing very old and very dear friend, that they will see the goodness of the Lord. God will make a way.

O How he loves us!

Another WORDLESS Wednesday !

God Counts {Review}

My youngest daughter is three and her favorite thing to do is read with her mommy.

We are always looking for fun books that we can read together. I personally love those books that have a bit of Jesus in them.

This is a new favorite of ours! God Counts: Numbers in His Word and His World.

Numbers are so much more than just digits. Every number has a powerful purpose in the Bible. While that sort of teaching may be a bit too much for younger ones, this book has a beautiful way of showing even our littlest ones that numbers have great value for God.

Every page speaks to a number and a lesson we can learn from it. As we read about the number two we are reminded we are not alone.

We learn there are six things the Lord hates. God hates sin and sin is what keeps us separate from him.

The pictures are so warm and inviting. I cannot tell you how many amazing conversations we have had. She is only three but every image is beautiful to her. And she loves every bit of each page.

This really is a fun book to read. My daughter traces and counts; she loves seeking out animals and the stars. It really is an amazing book. artistically and literally. One we are enjoying over and over and over again.

This Year…A Year for Hearts

I may have mentioned in previous posts how desperately I have noticed the need for heart work in my children. And in myself.

 

I have no doubt that in our house, hearts are not as aligned with Jesus as they have been in the past. We have a bit of hardness.

 

I rang in the new year with my in-laws in Michigan. A two day migraine. Away from home. In a place and with a people who are naturally very very loud.

As I laid there, I thought and said things, to myself and to Jesus, that I am rather ashamed of. I was pleased with the self control I maintained on my tongue for most of my time there. Much I wanted to do and say, that I did not. But there were some things I said that I should not have.

Regardless, as I thought on the drive be home about this new year I was sure this needed to be a year for our hearts. Not just my children’s but mine too. There is some bitterness which has crept in.

You cannot love the Lord if you hate your brother.

Phrases like “That’s not fair,” becoming more frequent in our home. We are to rejoice with those who rejoice. We are to be gentle and patient; we are to show kindness and love to others. Even when we feel that they don’t deserve it, because who really deserves it anyway?

We pray and watch others receive their blessings while our prayers seemingly go unanswered. Vacations around the world, new carpeting, a fresh set of china. Everything tidy and in its place. Is that really how we want life to be? Is it really what we need?

There is a lesson to be learned in the carpet stains and the cracked dishes. It can be hard. We must exercise the joy. On difficult days and when those blessings come to everyone except us.

We have to work to soften our hearts. This is where we lean on the Spirit working in us. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. The power is that Christ is in US!

The Bible says that God hardened Pharaoh’s heart. It also says that God draws us to him and gives us a new heart. We have to take care of our heart. How awesome would it be for God to harden our hearts?

When the children are just out of control and the house seems to be perpetually falling apart, it is done that we need to look I see those little blessings.

I have read it and said it many times; the messy house is a sign of love and togetherness. The rambunctious and messy children are being creative and learning.

We have a home and we have enough. Those alone are great blessings.

It is about learning to be content in all situations. A valuable lesson in life and love.

How many of our struggles come from jealousy and envy?

What miracles and opportunities have we missed or not recognized because we were busy murmuring and complaining.

We say we trust in the Lord with all our hearts yet we question what he does and what he doesn’t do. We think we know better then God perhaps?

And so for this year the word is heart. Because this year we need to focus on our hearts; we need to guard them and turn them more to the Lord.