Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Colossians 3:13
Lately I feel as though I have been forgiving A LOT. And not mnor things. I am not forgiving those who seek forgiveness but those who “know not what they do.” And I know how I seem in all of this. Sure I am hard to please; I expect more from people than maybe I should. But why is it wrong for me to expect to see something different? I get tired. And then I get cranky.
I come from a long line or hard workers; high achievers. Independant folks who knew what needed to be done and did it no matter the cost. Callouses, lack of sleep – no one had to say anything twice though. My home is full of reminders; constant pleas for assistance, foir the completion of tasks. There are an amazing number of unfinished projects sitting about and I confess it drives me nuts.
Okay so I lost it last night. One more fight with my son, who is seven and should not even be arguing with me. His disobedience comes and goes. But it is hard. I read the books; I pray, I talk with my husband…and yet I feel as though I am alone in training him. Now I get it, my husband is gone all day and when he comes home he just wants to relax and watch some television in peace. He does not want to upset anything. It’s his way. And he just does not see things as I do.
I went for a drive last night I was so upset and tired of it all. After I said some rather unkind things and left; I just drove. As I drove I cast my cares upon Him; I was reminded that I am not alone in my struggles. I have Jesus at my side. And while it seems like I cannot take one more minute I have to remember and rest in Him; He shall give me the strength to go on.
I have to forgive myself for when I lose my temper. I have to forgive my husband fr not doing what he should. I read somewhere that so many husbands (wives too who work outside the home) give their all to their jobs; they spend all day working hard and then come home to rest. They do not see the need for their presence; they punched out. I do not get to. No matter how challenging my day may be; how many husbands don’t get it?
I am frustrated, tired and weary … Yet I a praying in the mess ; amongst those who do not see, or care to try to be better today than we were yesterday. We slip and fall; sometimes (as in my case) its ratherangry; loud and boisterous. Sometimes its a silent slipping away’ a retreat within to ponder and pray.
Praying today, and praying last night, for the strength to go forward in love and in truth. That He alone may change hearts and minds, make laborers of all that we may labour together, for our children’s future. What matters after all is not that we go to church or read our Bibles; but that we live what we read. That we do what we can to show Jesus to others in the home and out of it.
Lord make me more like you ~ I just want to be more like you Jesus….