“I am forgiven….I have been given another chance…..”
SO why do I just not feel that peace and joy that comes from being forgiven? Why do I feel such a heaviness upon my heart and soul?
I feel rather lost – I know I am not acting as a Christian should – my short temper; my words are not as gentle as they could be.. I just want to be left alone…under the covers to sleep … read…. pray..alone.
I am not depressed or sad. Just tired. And feeling battle weary. Feeling anguish for those who are lost. Those who are weary – those who feel alone. I have been there. I am there right now. And I know that the sun shall shine; I trust His plan for me. And I know that there is no better pace to be sometimes than in that place where He is all we have. It helps us remember to come to Him; to lean on Him
I forget that sometimes.
And I forget what it means to be forgiven.
Sometimes I do not forgive. I think I do. I believe that I forgive myself and others but then…Oh does something come to me that makes me remember and relive that hurt, that wrong which was done…..And I feel it anew all over again.
Sometimes its something I did. To myself, not always to others. Sometimes its wht others do too.
Am I forgiven? Of course I am. How dare I doubt His word, But trthfully we all end up in a place at some point, where our faith is tested just a bit? How else can our faith get stronger and greater?
No testimony without the test right?
I shall endure. I shall take my lessons from Job. May his faith be my faith.
That no matter the storm; no matter how weary or alone I may feel, I will continue to trust Him in my life.
I am battle weary indeed but I shall keep on that Armour of God and I know He will prevail.
Did you read the end of the story? I did 🙂