Ever feel like you are at the end of your rope? I have – been anging on, barely, for some time now
Knowing that I am sub par – barely keeping it together
Enter in doubt. What an awful wife and mother I am being. Short tempered; irritable and not really keeping huse or school together as well as I could…..or should….
Unrest – I focus on the unfinished projects about the house and blame them for my inability to maintain. When the house is in disarray, its hard for me to feel at peace. Its hard for me to find myself. Or manage life.
I blame my husband. For building a new kitchen for me that is not yet complete but so much more spacious. I blame my children for their disobedience; basicaly for being children. I forget that they are small and they do not know. I forget to show them grace – I forget to show them how and in my impatience give them a poor model.
Lord I pray, renew the joy of my salvation; create in me a clean heart. (Ps 51:10)
Starting fresh. Not looking back but moving ahead.
I am reminded that when I am at the end of my rope, I need to reach for Him .
When its falling apart when I cannot see the light and I feel like it is all I can do to just get out of bed….thats when I need to fall at His feet. For there is strength in Him. Not in me. Not without Him
Made perfect in weakness……Did I forget that I am not in charge? Did I forget that I can’t do it all? I feel like I should have been named Martha sometimes because I can only imagine how she felt. Working her hands to the bone while Mary sat at His feet. So often life makes me feel that way….
An endless list of clean this, arrange that, cook this…clean the muddy prints off the floor (and again), sweep up the sand, wash the shoes off, dishes to be washed and put away and then again .. dirty laundry on the floor..in the hamper….down and up the stair…..
But how much of that is my plan? How much of that takes away from Him? It shows the heart of a servant but then I open my mouth and there you have it. A bitter heart; one that is not quick to forgive. Things seem so easy; what should and should not be. But it does not matter. All that matters is how we do all that we do.
Do everything wtihout complaining; do everything without arguing – so that we may be good and faithful, true servants of the Lord.
And the right spirit…..ensures your rope will not be at the end….for there is no end when we do all for the glory of God