Our days are not promised; waking up to find out a young man we knew passed away in a terrible accident…..and to think today he was coming by for my husband…none knew….He knew…It reminds me of how important it is for us to speak, in love and in truth, to pray and to be His hands and feet when He calls us…when we see someone in need…So many times we could have said more and showed more, I am sure, yet I know that His plan is greater…..I don’t understand but I just know that somehow in this dark, there will be a way for His light to shine.
You really stop and think when someone you know dies; suddenly and unexpectedly. My husband brought this young man’s father to our church last night. I could feel his pain and heartbreak in the pew – I swear to it – I could not stop the tears from falling – even though the whole sermon, the songs we song ~ all spoke of how great God is and how we are to trust and rejoice in Him always.
I did not know this young man “well”. He and my husband would occasionally boat or hunt or fish together; he was a wild child. Truthfully he reminded me of my group of friends when I was his age. Living on the edge; always needing adventure and danger…My boys always found him a fun one to be around.
I am torn on how to feel. It is shocking how it all happened; it stirs you within. I have thought and thought about the times this young man was in our church; was in our home, with our family…It as not enough … there should have been, could have been, more. And then I think God knows and knew even then; this breaks His heart too.
But how do you explain that to a dad who lost his only son? His best friend? When all you have is taken…..in that moment there are no words. There is a void; an emptiness that is just there. What would I do? I hardly know this man an yet – maybe is from years of working with parents and their dying children – I want there to be more we can do for him. To help him heal and understand and know …..What?
I sing “you give and take away….my heart will say….blessed be your name…..”
Standing there singing; sitting and listen to a wonderful sermon I could not help but think….watching him occasionally out of the corner of my eye – the tears, hunched over, hanging on barely to that pew before him – how my heart aches for any who have lost their child no matter how.
I remember it all beginning – while our friend and handyman was here working on our kitchen remodel (anticipation – almost – done) and he says that the prayer bandwagon sent a message for this young man ~ needs prayer, terrible accident, hit on his motorcycle, flight for life…next morning I see a message that he passed away. Friday. That was the last anything was said about this boy. In all of this I pondered, I prayed, for his family and his loved ones. I wondered in service why there was no mention of this family when we all stood to pray (I know the list is long…) and okay, I was a bit irritated … When we brought him to service last night and none came by ….our church is big, yet there was no welcome…Probably for the best for this man who was in such pain but I wonder…Should we not be warmer when we see someone new? Should we not be more inviting to those who are on the edge? On the outskirts?
Maybe it is the mother, or the old social worker, in me that sees this and takes it to heart. It angers me. It saddens me. I wonder how much more we could do if we were not all so busy. And it got me to thinking because I came from a very small church – one where just walking in the door you felt at home – what do we come for? I mean, I come to my church for Jesus but how many others come for Him and…(fill in the blank). I have many maybe’s and what if’s in my mind right now….It makes me think more, use more caution and care in what I do and say. I consider those who have come before who we have brought to studies and services – every little thing matters to those on the outside looking in – And as an outside myself in many ways, I want to be someone who sees them. And goes to them ….
Mt 16:26 What is a man profited? etc. All the wealth, glory, pleasure and power of earth are worthless to the dying man. If he should gain them all and lose his own soul, he has lost all. What shall a man give in exchange for his soul? What would a man not give? What is there that he can give, if in life he has not followed Christ?