Awake

8 Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walketh about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

Lately I am feeling quite discombobulated (I love that word) Its a challenge to stay awake and alert when it seems each day is just a bit of a struggle for me. I am tired; not enough time at His feet. And so I joined a wonderful group of ladies to read, with them, the Bible, front to back, this year. We just started but already I feel such a blessing from some of the women there. Their comments; things He has placed on their hearts; truths revealed to them already.

There is much coming my way this year. I know it; I claim and believe it because His word tells me it is so. Watching the heavens which He created, for glory and to “be a sign….” A sign of His coming? A sign of His power? A sign of the power within words, within sound. Thinking of how He spoke and there it was. Just like that. Should have been there to see it. I bet it was a Kodak moment. 😛

Then there is Cain who as I read, reminds me, of the value of a right heart, a right spirit, in the things we do. Reaching out and going beyond because of our love. For Him and for others. That cup of coffee I bring my husband in the morning; freshly brewed….Some mornings I bring it with a less than good spirit. Some mornings I bring it and am snappy about how no one brings me coffee in the morning “must be nice”. Its a Cain moment. We cannot serve as He did, if we serve others with our heart in the wrong place.

And some days, like my oldest son, what we want and what we get are very different. We know it and we are vocal about it. We complain; the actions of others disappoint us. They do not measure up to what we “know” they should be. Lord help us to be wise. What witness do we show? I have been told more than once that I  definitely show I am on fire; alll the time. I wonder though – what witness do I show? There is so much we must do; so much we must share. I mean eternity is the issue here right. We have to be awake. SO we can hear and be ready.

Exodus 34:2: And be ready in the morning, and come up in the morning unto mount Sinai, and present thyself there to me in the top of the mount.

AM I ready? Each morning when I awake; am I ready to meet Him and present myself to Him? I need to be ready. My children are wild and crazy; they play and they fight (my boys are all the way boys – you know what I mean right?) and so many mornings I awake only to roll out of bed and start breaking up the fights; yelling out orders…No time to get ready. I cannot make it to the meeting place even. In moments of frustration and anger (and there are too many of those lately) I get distracted by one thing or another – next thing I Know the day is almost done and did I ever make it to the top? Nope. In fact I gave up on getting there. We must not give up.

I have three little ones. My oldest is 8 (Ty), my two little ones are 4 (Alex) and 2 (Cora). They are precious to me. But they are young; they are being trained. And that means there is very little they can or should do without momma near their side. Let it be. I think of His word; how He reminds us in Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. This is my time to serve; not half heartedly. Not with a grumbling spirit but with a heart that joys the love and joy that I have for these little ones who are growing into big ones. I need to bite my tongue and quit the glib comments about who could or should help and when and how. I need to remind myself that it is Him who sees all; the laundry and the messes that are made, the floors that are scrubbed a million times each day, HE sees. So who cares if it doesn’t seem to matter. Lord let me minister with a quieter spirit; let me show your love as I wash those dishes; scrub the crayon off the walls, pick up after all these sweet ones (big and small) ❤

In all of this I read from the first page, In the beginning….to the very end, the Book of Revelation which reminds us of how important it really is to trust Him. Must keep that faith. No matter how often we fall we can not stay down. We must get up and dust ourselves of and try again. We must embrace our imperfections and strive to see them as He does. I have often been reminded by the Lord, when nitpicking about my oldest son, that Paul was tenacious. Paul was imperfect, impulsive and Moses was quick to anger. He was not so good with people, or words, but there was a great purpose in those “flaws” that we see, which brought a greater thing to fruition. There is a power in our weaknesses that we will just never really know. Faith. It comes by hearing and reading His word. Faith. It grows greater when I bite my tongue; swallow the nasty and bitter words and hold out my arms in love. When I smile and serve even when I am tired and worn.

Truth is…I am broken. I was void, empty and dark. But truth is He took me out of that. He made me salt (I liken myself to that crazy cajun seasoning !?!?) and He made me light. Some days my light is super bright (in your face) other days, its a bit dimmer, a warm soft light. I strive to be a warmer and softer light while also remembering that sometimes that stronger, brighter (think floodlights! ha) are necessary too. I come to Him, I meet Him where I am and give Him all I have. And trust that He is more than enough; all I need.

Talk about love. Talk about grace.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Awake

  1. Wonderful post…God seems to keep calling us to grow in His awesome grace a day at a time, regardless of where we’re at and what we’re doing. I grew up with a rowdy household full of siblings and constant goings on, so had to smile at your descriptions of the chores and challenges. Keeping a servant’s heart is indeed…ALL about grace…. 🙂

    1. Indeed!! Shows how amazing His grace really is too. I was an only child; grew up in a quiet home with no television or video games…My parents were divorced so there was always a lot to keep me busy — no idle hands here. So much growing comes from being involved and active; seeking opportunities to do more and share more. It is an art to be serving others, thats for sure!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s