Mark 4:9 (KJV)
And he said unto them, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.
I think about days past. How for so long I did not have ears. Not really. I don’t always want to listen and sometimes, I hear but I don’t. Know what I mean?
Reconciling. I feel so stuck. I want to go higher; I am sure He wants to take me there. And yet there some things that need to be reconciled. I know what needs to be done. He has told me what needs to be said. And yet I wait. I wait for Him to change His mind? Let it go? We cannot hear when another does not speak.
Sometimes I think I probably look a lot like this. Maybe right now. I should be taking my time to do what I have been told to do. And yet I still have my fingers in my ears. Like my kids when they don’t like my answer, going “la, la, lalaaaaaa..”
And at the same time I know that I am wrong. I cannot go forward; go higher. Not yet. Not until this is done.
I woke this morning with the scripture running through my head:
I said some time ago, that it seems I am always having to do that hard thing. Perspective.
Correcting and rebuking, teaching and exhorting. What wonderful gifts to have. And yet I looked down and complained on them. How much easier and more peaceful it would be if He would gift me with something simple like sewing or baking; homesteading. So many things I would love to have rather than what I do. Shame on me for not cherishing and embracing the gifts He has given. They are good things. All good gifts come from the Lord. We are the body. Every part of the body has its own important, necessary, place. I have mine. I need to embrace it.
I need to not hold my peace. (His peace?) I need to let it out, speak it that others my hear it. How selfish is it that I have words and truth and yet I choose not to go. I decide not to say those words that need to be said. Am I so great? Jesus … Daily I fail Him and yet He continues to call me and love me and wash and forgive me. Ah to be whiter than snow. To be clean and refreshed and renewed. I shall focus; I shall look to Him and His word. And as He calls so shall I do.