Every day my children remind me of my need – of their need – for a Saviour.
This morning, again, I feel like the worst mom ever. A total failure. Repeated fights broken up; cereal spilled on the floor, spoon fed to a happy dog – leaving a little one with an empty tummy and a rather unhappy mom. And I yelled. And I was not gracious. I was not gentle or understanding. I was not the mom I need to be.
“For all have sinned,
[That includes you]
and come short of the glory of God…”
Yep. That would be me. I definitely feel this one today. Okay, quite a few days lately. Where is my grace? Where is my mercy?
I have to say, some days I feel the wait of this truth I have, so much more heavily. Some days I am reminded all the more, that we, those chosen as His own, have such a greater task and responsibility in our life. To our children, our neighbors, our families…Some days, I need to remember that what we need to do, can only be done when we are in His will. When we are walking in His steps. Not our steps.
After yelling at my children, sending them to their room and saying “Jesus I cannot do this again….Just take this…” I came across this rather refreshing (?) word:
I pray you so live, that when you stand over your child’s dead body, you may never hear a voice coming up from that clay, “Father, your negligence was my destruction. Mother, your prayerlessness was the instrument of my damnation.”
C. H. Spurgeon
Oh how I need to pray MORE for my children. I need to yell less, and pray more. I need to speak and lecture and demand less and pray for and with them more. And then more still.
Jesus, only that power, only living in His way, can I train them without wearying. Only His way, in prayer, and lots of it, can they see and live what I share. Only by an honest searching of my heart and soul can I see through their eyes, so I may be. what they need. It’s not me. Its the Holy Ghost, it’s Jesus that can chnge them. But when I act foolish, when I speak words that are not His own – How can I truly hope for them to have His power in their life? Or to want it. It’s silly – foolish – to think that when we are can do it our way sometimes and He will still be with us.
How many times did Israel turn away? How many times did they try to do things a little bit different that the way HE told them to? I cannot think of any time that He blessed them for not following the way that he gave completely. I do not want to be, or to raise up children, who think they can sometimes follow God’s way. I want to be and to raise a family that loves to follow every bit of His word. With joy.