Have you ever felt like someone you loved, someone so lost, in need of the Lord’s touch in their life, was removed? My cousin, his daughter, was lost for so many years; we were apart for a long time. Then I see her again and she is so very broken. I was sure the Lord brought us all together again for an amazing purpose. Yet suddenly I feel as though His hand has been removed.
We are all broken. We are all sinners. Saved by grace. And so very many are called; yet so few are chosen. I know, by experience, that there is a struggle within us all. We are made to praise Him, to live for Him ~ Yet it is so hard to break free of the flesh and choose to live for Him. One foot in front of the other. Sounds easy enough right? But how many do that? It is so sad to watch others struggle ~ they fight it and wee know its so much easier to just let go and walk with Him. Because we have been there; we have fought that fight. Some more than others. Each must choose to answer His call. No matter how we may want to answer for them, only they can. And sometimes they just won’t.
I am guilty of not answering my phone. We have a machine that does that for me. So often, I sit and I hear the caller but I just do not have the desire to engage in conversation. We must want it; we need to seek it. No good comes from any thing that is one sided. I can give and give, until I have nothing left. Or I can give and give a bit more but hold back some. We cannot give it all away. God will not give us all He has in store for us, when we will not answer His call. It’s a choice. We have to give.
I have gone into my prayer closet so many times with this girl’s name on my mind; seared into my heart….What a need, a desperate need, there is. Certainly all of us need a Saviour, and a Lord but this girl … There is no thing that can bring peace and good to her life, there is no healing that shall come without His hand upon her life. And she will not hear. In a few months she will bring a baby into this world. I praise God that she has chosen to keep this precious child. Yet she is so lost; there are so many things she is ensnared by. Too many things she needs to break free from. She cannot see. I pray His hand is upon that child.
I admit too, there is a small part of me that is angry, bitter maybe? This girl has a baby, on the way, she does not know whose it is, she parties too hard, she is not ready for this – Yet friends of ours, they have been seeking a baby for so long; they foster through the local system. But not once have they been able to keep, to adopt, a child. Or have one of their own. I think of this and it stings. I would be lying if I said it did not. It just does not seem fair. So i remind myself that His ways are not mine. I cannot understand but perhaps one day I will.