I was thinking, and praying, this morning….
Our perspective makes such a difference. I have, for the last five mornings, begun my day by thanking the Lord for where I am, what I shall experience in my day and His hand being upon me in all I do. I mean, He knows, its not a mystery to Him and it is all for our good.
No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord. (Is 54:17)
Long ago I remember being full, being constantly in need. I was told long ago, its called addiction and its a problem. Today I know God and I know that there was no addiction problem; there was only a SIN problem.
But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. (Is 64:6)
I read tarot cards; I would cast spells and call out demons. I eagerly would play with that darker, spiritual side of things. I was certain I had control; I had demons that would help me gain all that I needed. And that would keep others from harming me or being in my way.
Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for the Lord hath spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me. (Isaiah 1:2)
I was selfish and mean. My thoughts were continually on me, my needs, my desires I thought this was my problem; I knew this made me a bad person. I always wanted more. Emptiness.
For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, he hath also rejected thee from being king. (! Sam 15:23)
It was all about me. And I was sure that I was better than any other. At whatever I did. I drank them under the table. I could make a sailor blush. And at the same time i knew every famous opera that mattered; I was published poet, I performed as a local flautist now and again. I was well read; quite cultured and well traveled too. I had a nice long list of accomplishments. And yet – my life was one big and crazy oxymoron. lol
For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. (Romans 7:15)
I did not know I was loved. I did not know that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I only knew that I was a mess. That I was lost; that there was more but I did not know what. I knew I was headed for hell and so I chose to enjoy the ride never knowing there was an amazing God who put up some major roadblocks to keep me from going over the edge.
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. (Phil 2:3)
I was so full of myself. I would dress, immodestly (strangely even – I was goth if any of you know what that is, remember? lol) I would go out with the intent of wrecking havoc; playing with people’s minds. I pushed limits. How far could they go? How much further could I go? I was desperate for something more….I just did not know what. I had to have all the answers; I had so much pride. Everything, everyone, was a thing to be conquered; to rule over. And so, I was one of those thrill-seekers I guess.. I had a death wish …I do not now really….BUT….I knew I was no good. Because I did not know whose I was.
Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers, That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints… For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Wherefore remember, that ye being in time past Gentiles in the flesh, who are called Uncircumcision by that which is called the Circumcision in the flesh made by hands; That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world: But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ. Ephesians (1:16-18; 2:10-13).
Its all about our perspective. We do not know whose we are. Not until we are seeking the one who created us. Not until He calls us and begins to reveal Himself to us. Then, it all begins to make sense. The pieces fall into place.
“I once was lost but now am found; was blind but now I see…”
We can make all the excuses we want to; we can name our sins something else (addiction, etc) but they are still, when we strip them down, nothing more than sins. And they are that which we shall never break free of, until we know Him. Only then can we hear His call; can we see the need to be born again; washed in the waters of baptism, buried in baptism with Him so we can be reborn – clean and free from sin. Free from he bondage of a life lived in the flesh.
But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthains 15:57)
How deep is His love for us! Let us not choose to live in our sins, as excuses. Let us see them as the chains they are. Let us see them in light of His word. Our Creator calls us….
But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. (Deut. 4:29)
DO not hold back. Our God is an amazing God. He has done wonders in my life. SO many sins entrapped me for so long; there was no way out. Yet He made a way.
The Bible is so much more than just a book. There is power within the pages; it is the love letter from a great, big amazing and alive God – to those who He calls to be His children.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (Jeremiah 29:11)
We are His chosen ones. We are meant to stand out; to be set apart from the rest of the world. We are to show others the way which He calls us to live. And it is a beautiful way; full of love and joy, peace and rest. It is a life overflowing with promises from God; IF we are willing to live according to His commands.