Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
– Mark Twain
Ruth Bell Graham once said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
I have been married for four years now, soon to be five. Its been a very bumpy road too. I never wanted to get married. When I was little I had no dreams of big weddings and pretty dresses. I had no desire for a Prince Charming. I had visions of working and living and traveling around the world. On my own. I had a shirt that explained it well,it said “Doesn’t play well with others” It still makes me chuckle to this day. Anyway, in four years,there has been much work and tears, joy and love. They go together. Really they do. We life and we learn, we grow, hopefully together. We forgive. Always we need to be willing to forgive.
Its been a long time since we have really fought. I have learned, and continue to learn (and struggle) with not being angry.That bad anger. We may argue and, we may disagree (my husband and I are night and day so its bound to happen) but I learn and strive to control the anger. Tough for this full blooded German. hehe
God instructs us to be self–controlled and forgiving. He is clear on this.
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: – Ephesians 4:26
“What I didn’t realize then was that this scripture had little to do with our time zone, and everything to do with
calming my spirit so that I could be reconciled to him.”
This is a hard one to swallow because, I admit it, I have a hard time letting go of some things. I mean there is a way that is right, right? It’s that humble spirit we need here; to show forgiveness. To not hold something against another but we need to “commune with our own heart.” If we cannot forgive within our heart, how can we really forgive another?
Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord. – Psalm 4:4-5
Matthew Henry writes, “Though anger may come into the bosom of a wise man, it rests only in the bosom of fools.”
Sometimes, I admit, I am a bit foolish. We need to let go and willingly reconcile with one another. And then reconciliation comes, and with it that joy and peace. And let’s face it this is something to celebrate.
“Here’s the thing… if your primary goal is to please your husband, you’re missing the mark. Our goal is to live according to our created purpose which is that of bringing glory to God. The world doesn’t revolve around us. Everything in it including our lives should revolve around pleasing God. When we live in harmony with our husbands according to God’s plan for our marriage we are pleasing the Lord.”
It isn’t about me and its not all about him. The Lord is clear, we are to esteem others higher than ourselves.It’s about living beyond ourselves so that God would be glorified through our lives.
Marriage (all relationships really) they must hold that same focus if we’re to glorify God in our lives.