What are you Seeking?

He cannot bless us unless He has us. When we try to keep within us an area that is not our own, we try to keep an area of death. Therefore, in love, He claims all. There’s no bargaining with Him.

C. S. Lewis                           

Yesterday was a tiring and eye opening and heartbreaking day. I was set free of some burdens. And I was reminded of how important it is to wait. Wait on the Lord, and seek Him in all things. I thought I would “do the right thing” and help my Aunt and my cousins daughter to an appointment she had yesterday. This girl is pregnant; she is drug addicted, she is trouble. There is no good way to say it. It’s sad and I have prayed and prayed for God to move  her life and give her a desire for Him. After all we must seek Him first. He will not drag anyone to Him. Praise God for that love and patience and mercy and longsuffering.

Anyway, I had my little ones with me, my husband and son are at the Bible Quiz Nationals this week in Missouri. I was glad to be able to help; She wants to get right before this baby is born (heard it a million times but maybe this is the one?) I do not trust this, but  cannot stand in the ay of what could be a breakthrough you know? I didn’t wait. i did not seek Him in this. I just wanted to help. And was it ever a slap in the face.

I knew so little of her situation. I had details here and there but for the most part she does not converse with me. She said very little to me, in fact, from the time I arrived. But I could feel her anger, and discomfort. She is so angry. I have tried to talk to her before of the things of God; of His goodness and how amazingly He can change a life. Suddenly. But she only sees Him as hateful; she is too caught up in all of her drama. She wants what she wants. She is of the world. And for that, God cannot move in her life. Her grandmother, her parents, they failed. It sounds bad but they failed. We all can. We train up a child (with or without God, we all do it to an extent) and we see as they grow, fruits whether good or bad. If we train them up for the world, we shall see the world. If we train them up, dedicating their every breath, to our great God, we shall see that. It doesn’t mean they will not make some decisions that are not so good, but if they are strong in His word, if they have a firm foundation, they will not be shaken. And when they are being shaken, they will know who to run to. Isn’t that one of the biggest problems we all have? Where do we run when we are shaken?

I heard yesterday and saw, what it looks like to be without God’s spirit. And to have no hope. To go from one drama to the next; to be so led by the flesh, so full of self, that even the life within you, it doesn’t matter. It made me so angry. I admit it. And I said some things, maybe I should not have, yet it was truth  This girl and her family (my family too I guess) they want God to bless them; they seek His favor Yet they do not know Him. They do not seek Him. They are camped in Sodom and Gomorrah. They are living amongst the wicked. God cannot bless that. He is not a liar. And I know it sounds hard; cold. But if we are not seeking Him; if we do not desire those things of God, why should He bless us? I had to say it, I had to be clear. Yes God is love. But He is also a God of wrath. And a God of order. There is a way that is right. We must seek Him and conform to Him; not except Him to conform to us.

Why do we expect and seek blessings from the Lord for those who are pitching tents in Sodom and Gomorrah? DO we expect blessings to rain down upon those who are living in sin and disobedience to His word? My sweet little old Aunt, she is always asking the Lord to “bless them…”  She does not see or understand the depth of what she is asking Him to do.

Proverbs 15:29 “The LORD is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous”

John 9:31″We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will.”

We MUST turn and repent and SEEK Him with ALL our heart, mind and strength….There is only ONE way! We need to be led by His Spirit. we need to dust off our feet, move on from those who do not care for the things of the Lord. We cannot stay. If they are not for God, they are against God. And we will be too if we keep them near. Only He can change hearts and we have to just know that whatever His plan is for their life,it is right. He wants to bless all, He wants all to be saved. Praise God for His longsuffering. But like Jesus, we cannot go back again and again, trying to save those who do not seek after Him. There comes a time for us to move on. Let go. Or that leaven will spoil us too. It is time to move on.

Again and again I have offered to show them, to bring them to church; a Bible Study. Something. Because we need someone to show us. We need someone of God to bring us there. As much as I hate to admit it, this cannot be done alone. It cannot be done at home. As I tried desperately to explain this, I saw the the eyes, sealed tight, I saw so many dark spirits inside. Too many to number. Having a past that involved the occult and a lot of spirit and demon activities I know it well). It reminded e of the man with all those demons, in Luke. Jesus cast them all into that herd of pigs remember? I saw it in my mind; this man and his desperate need for Jesus (even as he was filled so full of these evil spirits!) He still wanted Jesus more; he knew he needed hat the Lord had. And hew as desperate for Him. Yet this girl, I stand before her and i see how repulsed she is the Lord. The things of God; there is no desire. Like those townspeople she is repulsed, disgusted, and she wants Jesus far from her.

Some love and desire Jesus, more and more. They are drawn to Him and to His people. Others are disgusted, repulsed by Jesus. We need to know the difference. We all know someone we desperately want to see saved. We all know a few people who need God desperately.But we cannot save them. We cannot make them desire the things of God. We are in it or we are not. There is no other option. he is clear; we cannot serve two masters. There comes a time, we can continue to pray, but we must acknowledge His will and move on. Just as almost a year ago, I thought I could choose who gets saved, the other day, I was reminded to listen. Because He will answer and He lead us to those who are hungry. If we are willing; if we have faith and if we wait….Just wait on Him.


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