I am probably not alone in saying that most is I feel like as a mom I am only messing my kids up. The past few days out of town visiting in-laws definitely only confirmed for me how helpless we can be when it comes to training up our children for Him.
I know none of us are perfect, and I have been told that I am too aware of my own faults sometimes. Yet as a mothe I know none of us are perfect, and I have been told that I am too aware of my own faults sometimes. Yet as a mom I feel like I need to be more aware than ever before. Because our kids are but we make them I feel like I need to be more aware than ever before. Because our kids her reflection of us. And sometimes it’s not pretty.
While I came back from our trip Pretty sure that I was the worst mom ever, how blessed I was to have a wonderful sister in our church come to me to tell me how strongly she can see the calling of my sons life. This boy who I fight with so often, my super loud always moving always messy, so I need usual and unique and out out of sync.
He is nothing like me and I am nothing like him. I think we both try each other’s patience daily. He is my little roller coaster who is up and down. And he is my perfectionist, my deep thinker, my artist. And I have to be very intentional and seeing all of these wonderful things with him every day.
So I count my blessings when this dear sister came to me to tell me how precious my son is and how clear it is that God is doing great things in him. I won’t deny how much I needed to hear at that moment that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. I needed to hear that no matter my mistakes and my angry words and foolish actions in the days past God was still working in all of us. I needed to be reminded that his plan and his purpose will always overcome.
We all mess up and get angry and strike out when we need to just stop and trust in God. For those of you like me to have one of those kids that can just be a bit harder to love, we need to remember that they are who He created them to be. We need to embrace the beauty which is our children. Because no matter what we think they ought to be he knows what they need to be.
I have never been one to pretend that I am anything but broken. I never want anyone to think that I think of myself as higher than them. Because the truth is I am so very aware, too often I think, of my thoughts. But I use those times to thank Jesus because if not for Him….