What do I Know?

I always thought I was a pretty smart person.  My mother insisted as I was growing up that I was so very intelligent; a genius. Perhaps I really was according to those tests everyone takes. Or maybe it was something that my mother simply said. All I know is that often, I don’t feel like I am all that smart. 😛


For example; today I burned myself twice while making dinner. Instead of putting on oven mitts I just grabbed a pan to move it out of the way. Then I did it again a moment later. And instead of shaking a bit of seasoning into our dinner’s sauce, I dumped quite a bit of celery salt in simply because I didn’t think to make sure I opened the right side of the container. *sigh*


I don’t say this as a means of belittling myself; I do not say this in a complaining or grumbling spirit. But I say it because, as my children and I were reciting their Bible verses for quizzing today, it hit me:


:If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not and it shall be given him.”



The Bible is so full of wisdom. I love reading and reciting and studying verses after verse; how often something new is revealed in a verse I have read a thousand times…but then .. G0d shows me something greater and gives HIs words even more meaning and power than before (is that really possible?).



Wisdom – what is the wisdom we have and where are we obtaining it?  It matters whether we are learning those things that are of God or of the world. We must be as those wise old Berean’s – searching always in the scriptures…


I love to read; I live to study and research and dig into all kinds of things. I won’t say I am a know it all but I do like to be informed. Okay, I need to be informed. I crave information. I live for learning something new; knowledge is power right? In fact God says it is so important that we are studying always to show ourselves approved…we must be wise for otherwise we may be destroyed by our own ignorance.


Does it matter though if I know that clients do (or don’t) exist? Does it matter if I know about mythology, or algebra or computers? Does it matter if I know the Word of God? Does it matter if I simply complete a variety of classes and get a certificate or diploma? Am I done then? When does learning begin and when does it end? And who determines what we really need to be learning?




I think about all of this at a time when my kids are getting older; my oldest reminds me he only has ten more years until he is eighteen. He cannot wait for all the excitement that he imagines comes with being eighteen years old. I dread it. Yes, I truly dread it because if I am honest, I question sometimes, I doubt now and then, that he will know enough. My faith begins to waver just a bit – my staunch support of the beauty and benefits of home education suddenly is shaky – I have to take a breath and out loud remind myself, “God is in control.”




And then I recite those things that are pure and good and true and right. I remind myself that my son knows the Word  of God, better than many adults I know. I know that he loves to pray and worship God. I know that he has a gentle heart and loves animals and babies; that he is so very creative and so strong in who God created him to be that it just doesn’t matter what others say. He is strong willed and determined (right now its to play Minecraft Lol).  He writes amazing little stories and songs; plays his guitar and sings to the Lord. I don’t need to think on what he isn’t because God has a plan for him, to use him, as he is. God works with that!





I do not want to doubt the plan of the Creator; the one who knit my little ones together in the womb. For He knew them and the plans He had for them from the very beginning. Yet there are times I let life, and all I was taught before Christ, get the better of me. I begin to think that it may be that the world is right – What will we do if he doesn’t go to college? How will he survive without Calculus? Can art and music really benefit him in life beyond childhood? I come restless, sometimes just weary, and want to go back to that way that I know every step of. (you know the one: elementary school, middle school, high school, college, job, family, eventually retirement…)





We are all taught throughout our life that this is what we must do to be successful. And sometimes those thoughts creep back in. And truthfully it makes me so mad, and a bit scared.  Because I am taking my eyes off of Jesus when I entertain these thoughts. I am not seeing His wisdom, eternity and His kingdom but that of the world and everything that has nothing to do with eternity. Or Jesus. I cannot do that. I cannot stop believing and walking in faith. While it doesn’t make sense to me right now, perhaps one day I will have the chance to see maybe jut a glimpse of this great plan that is His for my children. And how greatly it glorifies my great God!

Because its all about Him. Thank you Jesus!











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