Weep…then Rejoice

It’s funny how sometimes when you are doing good to others and trying to encourage someone else we suddenly start seeing things in ourselves and our homes that we may not have before. 

I admit that I tend to be one of those people that’s a bit difficult at times. I always have been someone who sees things as black and white. I guess that’s why it was so easy for me to see the truth within God’s word. Because I never really believed that there could be so many ways to one great God. In all things I ha v en always believed there to be simply, right and wrong.

It often occurs to me that because of this very thing life can be difficult for my family. For my husband and my kids… I am very particular and many will likely say quite odd. I guess many see me as difficult and perhaps the way I do things sometimes I can be. I am told I have a fire and a passion for things that can be a bit intimidating to others. Seldom is there something that I don’t feel strongly about regardless of which way I lean. 
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I think of this past Sunday when we went to church to celebrate Pentecost Sunday. A wonderful occasion and a blessed thing to celebrate. If it wasn’t for the church where would we be? And yet instead of really habit a day together what do you see in our house? My husband on his phone and my two boys playing a video game while their sister watches a video on the computer. Now if you don’t know, my family probably considers me a screen time Nazi. I grew up without a television and even when I was an adult I never had any desire to own one. My husband on the other hand is very fond of all things electronic and the television we have a nice home today is quite large. As you can imagine this is a bit of a source of contention between my husband and I.

I think of an image I saw some time ago that said something like ” the world needs fewer Xboxes and more tackle boxes”  I love that sentiment because it was so simple and yet so full of truth. Especially for those of us who claim Jesus as our Lord. Now I know some people will say that there’s nothing wrong with video games and television, I know that there are many who see these things as good quality time for families.  But I wonder what child looks back fondly on their childhood and his joyfully remembering all the movies and shows and games that they played on the television when they are grown?  Everything we do and engage in is an example whether it is for Christ or not.

As I have spent time encouraging a friend to go deeper in her walk and clean out all the junk so that she can give more to Jesus, I have seen more in our own home that we need to clean out as well.   Perhaps we are not as Discerning as we ought to be with what we allow on the screens in our home. And pray that perhaps one day my husband would come to make better choices in things that he watches with our children and how he spends his time with them too.  And of course I am not exempt. Perhaps there are days when I spend more time ministering to strangers online then I do ministering to the little ones of my own home. Every one of us must be wise and honest with ourselves and God as to the things we spend our time with.

I admit to looking back now and then. Comparing the how of myself and my family to what I always imagined it to be. I love my family. I count them as a great blessing. I also know that we are not the witness we ought to be. There are things that could be done better, for one another and for the Lord.  How we spend do our time….the examples we are or are not for our children.  

I do believe that we need to always look for more. More opportunities to show kindness and more opportunities for our children to live and learn with us. It may not always be easy but admitting that perhaps we don’t always show as much as we could the value of living and learning together. I think often I may not understand the reasons behind it but I need to remember and praise God that he had someone just for me. how very different my husband and I are. It always amazes me how so many couples I know always knew that they would be together. There was always a depth and a love for one another, like two peas in a pod.  And then I think of myself and my husband and I am reminded that God placed us together. Regardless of our somewhat extreme differences God brought us together. He has a plan.

I have often said to people, I know I am not God and I am so glad that I am not God. Because I don’t understand His ways though I know that His ways are best. His grace and love, patience…how I truly long to be as He is.  Too often I expect more than I should (demand it even) when I ought to be the example they strive to be more like. May Jesus truly give me the mind and eyes He has that I may see and be to others as he continues to be to impress difficult messy me!

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