Last night we had church. Everyone in our family looks forward to going to sing and worship and hear the word of God preached usually. As of late though it has been a different story.
Because of the attention and sensory issues my oldest son struggles with he can be a bit of a handful. My younger son on the other hand is very small for his age and unfortunately even church kids can be mean. He has become the class clown in the hopes of winning a friend or two.
My youngest son got booted out of his class early on. My older son and one of his very silly vocal moments teased a little girl. My husband with the lucky one to hear directly about both of these incidents.
Leaving the church I didn’t yell. I admit I said some things I maybe shouldn’t have to one of the older ladies who asked me why I looked so stressed out when I should be so full of joy in the house of the Lord.
I know my kids are different and I know that they stand out. In fact I kind of pride myself on the fact but they aren’t like all those other kids. They are independent thinkers and they are creative and they are different. I like that!
My husband says as we talked about all of the issues that so many in our church seem to be having with our two boys, my husband says we just aren’t good parents. I know he means to say it in jest and yet I feel like there is a little bit of truth to his statement. He is frustrated.
But we are more frustrated with the adults who come in contact with our kids and cannot take the time to hear them and to truly see them but just determined that they are bad. Disobedient and disrespectful.
Nevermind my husband said while our children are disruptive sometimes it is not with ill intent. I remind him of the times that our younger son was picked on and cornered by other boys in our church. I have to stop myself from wondering if those boys and their mom wherever made to feel as awful as we are made to feel.
I remind my husband that our kids don’t go to school. They learn at home and so a lot of what they are taught at church is old. They know more and they do more than a lot of other kids their age. More importantly we do it all differently. We allow our kids to move and ask questions and while we try to not let the sillies take over some days they just do.
I reflect on the whole situation yesterday and I wonder when we got to this place where kids are suddenly so easily offended. I encourage my children to always be kind. We stand by the rule but if it isn’t helpful and if it doesn’t inspire and encourage then it just shouldn’t be said.
I think of how blessed I was growing up to have adults in my life who taught me how to look beyond the words. I am grateful for a family the taught me to be confident and sure of myself no matter what others around me said or did. Our kids need to learn these lessons today.
Certainly there are actions and words that are inexcusable but there is also an innocence in childhood play. I remember as a child being teased and left out. It didn’t destroy me. In fact it helped me to grow into a more sure and confident person. I never would have thought to tattle because another boy or girl called me a silly name or said something was stupid.
Such is the state of this Fallen world we live in. I wonder sometimes if there is anything we can say or do anymore that doesn’t Marcus as a troublemaker. Truthfully I appreciate knowing who the people are who care enough to take the time to minister to my children and who the people are just decide that because they aren’t like other kids they are bad.
It is such a sterile world we live in. Everything has to be just so. I am so thankful for Jesus and for his truth because without it I just don’t know how I could survive in this crazy ridiculous upside down world where wrong is right and right is wrong.
I think of a song my mom used to sing to me when I was a child….” You and Me Against the World…” So often lately I feel as though that is exactly how I live. Standing next to my boys, Just You and Me Against the World.