My oldest son has always been a rather extreme boy. He is always gone one way or the other. In fact when he was three or four I remember a friend of ours from church commenting on that very thing. He were marked how he could see that raising this boy was going to be quite a challenge.
My oldest challenge in so many ways. Sensory issues. Attention and focus. A bit of that rebellious spirit. A desire to be in charge of himself. And he’s only 11!
Yesterday I went about changing passwords on all of the electronic devices in our house. I have read that for many children who have sensory processing issues screens are we really big thing. Unfortunately because obedience and showing respect and honor to others is also a great challenge right now.
As I was reading the other day it occurred to me but God repeatedly tells us that we are to love him with all of our heart and mind and soul and strength. Well we are commanded to love him we are also given the ability to choose. Will we choose to give him our heart and mind and soul and strength? Does God truly have our heart?
It occurred to me right then that perhaps my 11 year old son has not given his heart to anyone. Or maybe he gave it but it’s slowly taking it away. I need to have my son’s heart. Well he is not quite a little boy he is not quite a young man either and now is not the time for him to be contemplating who he should give his heart to.
Heart to Heart parenting. It’s what we do when we want to teach our children how to make good choices in their life. It’s how we take those ugly moments and turn them into Times where we grow and we learn together. I fear that I have not always looked to equip my oldest son with the tools which he needs to be responsible and make good choices. Perhaps more often than not I have demanded obedience without any teaching.
I take my rule as a mama very seriously. Who doesn’t? We want to see our kids endure the race to the very end. We want more than anything to hear Jesus say to our children well done good and faithful servant. Yet you know all of this work which we do are we about our work with faith or with fear? There are so many things that can make us anxious and cause us to worry and doubt. And God can’t work in that mess!
We need to find a new way and think about our children in a different way. We need to see them as stewards and as disciples. We need to love them as our neighbor because they are our neighbor.
I think of the many things that my oldest son loves. I think of those things that each one of my children loves really. These are the things that are feeding them. And not all of them I write things. Video games and movies and television…. these are nothing but junk food and our children cannot live on junk food. They cannot thrive on it.
There is much to do. Much work within every one of us. I think of times that I have said something I shouldn’t hear it those moments when an anger I have yelled and said hurtful things. Or perhaps those times when I just haven’t acknowledged his feelings the way I should. Perhaps those things he loves I have not shown enough interest in?
There needs to be a change pyramid 1st and me and then in him. Only God can change the heart and I pray that he will change mine and my son’s.