Falling Ahead? 

I hate to think that we’re falling behind so lately I have taken to say that I think we are falling ahead.
In an attempt to find a bit of peace in our home I have decided to unschool. To put it all in the hands of God and just let go.
I think my kids would vouch for me when I say that I lost it just a little bit the other day. I was looking after work boxes. Reviewing what we did and what we still needed to get done. And realizing that we barely began.
At that moment my frustration got the better of me. I yelled and I said some very foolish things. My children went to the rooms to get away while this mama finished having her little temper tantrum.

I beg and I plead with the Lord to give my children a heart that is obedient. To make my children just do their work each day. I tell him I just need them to do their work joyfully. That’s all I ask.

Of course the Lord doesn’t respond with an affirmative. Haha
I heard that still small voice speaking to me. That voice telling me that my children need to learn when they rise up and when they walk about. They need to learn how to hear God’s voice. They need to learn how to walk in His way.

It’s about the relationship. It’s about growing together and learning to love what is lovely. Can we see the many opportunities that are before us every day? Not in the books or in the pages we expect them to complete but in the moments of each day?
It pains me to think of how often I react in a way that I shouldn’t. It saddens me but I tell my children how beautiful and have fun learning is but then when they aren’t doing exactly what I expect them to do and how I expect them to do it I turn around and become a bit ugly. How grateful I am for the grace of God everyday!

My children like to say we are perfectly imperfect. It is so very true. I feel my Brokenness on a daily basis. Some days more than others. But today I resolve but we will not continue to scream and cry and fight about things that just don’t matter.

I put away all those workbooks and the textbooks too. I reorganized our bookshelves pulling out those things which I feel will be most intriguing to each one of my children. 

My youngest daughter has her board books with pages full of puppies and babies.   My other daughter has all of her little ballerina books. My younger son has a collection of books on building and wood carving and paper airplane making. And my oldest son has tons of books on card games and card tricks and magic tricks and 3-D drawing. 

I have to let go because I realize more and more how important the love really is. Well I want my children to be good readers and writers and mathematicians one day I also want them to love one another and more importantly to love what they do.

It’s time to let go of school ( not that I ever liked school or the concept of it to begin with) and to let them live and walk according to God’s design.

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