I Woke Up Mad 

The Bible says let not the sun go down upon your Wrath.
 I wonder what the Bible has to say about waking up feeling Wrath.
That’s how I woke up this morning. 
I have really been struggling lately. 
I look at my home and it’s a mess. And I know but it cannot remain a mess because when it is a mess then so am I.
I look at my children and my husband at night. Screens light up our living room. Every one of them watching a show or playing a game. All in the same room and yet completely disconnected from one another.
I look within and I know that my joy and my love for my family is not what it should be. I have to be completely honest and admit that while I love my husband and my children lately I don’t like them much.
I watch how quickly all are after dinner to throw the dishes in the sink and disappear into another room. To a screen.
I know that my purpose is to be a keeper of the home. I know that my husband works hard and I love him for being faithful in that.
It’s so often I feel like trying to keep our home kit and peaceful and organized is impossible. Lately I feel like it’s me fighting against them. All the time.
And when I woke up this morning and tripped over some shoes on the way downstairs and stepped on some toys in the living room it made me mad. It reminded me that this is not my home. Not right now anyway.
It’s a constant battle. A spiritual one I mean. All kinds of things distracting our children and us too. We are in a war. It is a battle. And we have to choose whether we will fight or not.
 I’m ashamed to admit that I have allowed my home to be something that is constantly being assaulted by the things of the world. I understand that television and screens can have some great benefits but they can also be a source of great trouble. 
The fruits of the spirit…they are lost. Those virtues that our children need to see lived out. How are they to learn when everyone is so busy about their own business instead of being about the Lord’s business?
Certainly in all of this I can show more patience and gentleness. I am sure that will be good for me to practice being long-suffering and being meek. Instead I am angry and sullen.

As I prayed this morning I asked God for wisdom because I need his wisdom. To take back what has been stolen and to restore joy and peace to our home. Because our house is either going to serve the Lord or it will serve the world.
There are days that I wish Jesus would just come quickly. There are days I just can’t stand and on those days I am so grateful for our God who goes before me and who strengthens me in my weakness. 

There is much work to be done because I do believe that our Lord is coming soon. And truly too many are sleeping. What saddens me so is that many do not even realize that they are asleep.

How good it is for us to sincerely pray for the Lord to search us and to examine us. Daily. Because there is nothing that matters more then one day hearing him welcome us to our Eternal home and say Well done my good and faithful servant.

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2 thoughts on “I Woke Up Mad 

  1. Hugs to you, sometimes things are hard. I think a lot of us can relate now to the screen issue. AT least you are aware of it, and looking for good change. Keep looking up, God bless you xx

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