I have been struggling lately a lot with my oldest son. It seems that he has developed some very bad habits. Which we either did not see or chose to ignore? Either one makes me sad and feeling a bit desperate.
Not too long ago I had a wonderful conversation with a couple folks in regards to deschooling and unschooling my oldest son specifically. I was really inspired and so excited because I truly believed and I still do that this it’s the perfect place for him. At least for right now it is where he belongs.
Zeal is a good thing right?
We dove right in. We put away all those curriculums and we relaxed on a lot of things. For a little while anyway. And then I kind of freaked out.
As I saw how drawn all of my children were to the television and tablets during their free time I began to panic. As they spent more and more time choosing those things I kind of lost it. And I quit.
When the going got tough I kind of ran away. Instead of seeing where it all LED I guess I expected instant results.
I think I am guilty of losing myself in my vision. You see, I have these visions of putting away the curriculum and my children choosing books and sitting at the table painting and drawing…maybe going outside to build with their tools or carve…feed the birds….but that isn’t what happened at all.
I was actually pondering what exactly to do this morning. I was reading about the importance of faith. How powerful it can be and how powerful a lack of belief can be.
I mean I really started to wonder. We found this and we spoke with others of like faith who are doing this and seeing God working in their homes and in their children. I had so much confirmation that this was a good path yet I lacked the faith to walk it. Lord help my unbelief!
It is so easy to fall into fear but perfect love casts out fear. Especially when we are walking in a place where we have so much freedom. It can be scary but I love how Thomas Jefferson said “I would rather have dangerous freedom than comfortable slavery.”
With right now being the season that it is it’s so easy to take a break and step away from it all. To give all of us a little room to breathe; time to relax.
I was reminded by a friend that what I see as lazy is not always the case. Perhaps there is something going on deeper, some inspiration and creative spirit coming alive within that I just cannot see yet.
I strive to remember God uses all things for good. If we are patient we will see beautiful things. I pray for the Lord to increase my faith.<3