Be Softer

I have been doing a lot of preparing and praying this month. Reflecting on what it is that I want for my children and also for my family. I am looking at who are children are. Each of them individually. My husband. And myself. As a wife and a mother I need to see clearly those habits which are good and even those ones that are not so good.

I admit this wasn’t from experience that left me walking on sunshine! I am Max I struggled to swallow some hard truths about myself. Having spent most of last year studying the Book of James with my children for their Bible quizzing program there was a lot but I believe God showed me regarding how I speak to him and how I ought to speak to them.  

I don’t pretend to be someone who is soft and gentle all the time. The fact of the matter is that I admit I am very focused on getting things done. I tend to see everything is very black and white. There was a problem? Here are the steps to resolve it. Let’s do this now.

It seldom that I take that I admit to allow my children to really Express and work out their emotions. Haven’t come from a family we’re being emotional was something that was seen as a weakness I admit that to this day I tend to shy away from those type of things. Too often I catch myself telling my kids to stop it and suck it up. Rather than helping them to work out those emotions and manage them I fear more often I encourage them to ignore and discard them.  

My disdain for dealing with emotions of course puts me in a place where I fear my responses to my children more often harm them than help them.  Too often I do not meet them in a calm and gentle but rather accusing and confronting.  I may not wait to hear what they have to say or try to find detailed out what caused the fight that just broke out.  

I have to admit that God has shown me many things but I am not proud of. About how I use my words especially when it comes to my children.  I think too often I forget that they are little children and the bus I expect more of them than I ought to. I forget to consider the opportunities which are presented by their struggles as chances for us to grow and minister to one another.   Instead I see them as disrupting something which I am putting more importance on than I should.  

Too often I think, I demand when I could request. Instead of being harsh and annoyed I need to be calm and joyful. 

I often I’m telling my oldest son that attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. In retrospect I would do well to remember this myself. I wonder how often my attitude has conveyed towards my children something that is hurtful. 

While it is so important for our children to learn to speak truth we need to remember to temper it with a gentle touch and a bit of love.  I watched my youngest daughter who is only one year old run to her older sister today to give her a big hug when her sister hurt herself in our living room.  

How we need to be so willing and quick to lend a hand and give a gentle touch when we see another with a need.  It Might Sting a bit it’s so important for us Mamas to look carefully and honestly at ourselves now and then. Especially as we seek to teach our children and guide them in their behavior and their words and we need to be mindful so much more of our own.